Session Two

My friend Laurie joined live this week, and we found ourselves talking about how we approach endings. Enjoy the practice, stay for the conversation, join live next week.  

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_04 0:02

Okay, welcome back for session two of Cedar Sessions. In just a moment, we'll get started again, but as a reminder, our flow for the next maybe 25 minutes will be a brief meditation to kind of settle in, and then I will guide you into the active breath. Again, we use a three-part active breath, so it's all through the mouth, open mouth, and through the belly, and through the chest. Exhale. Okay. So wherever you are, we'll do this practice lying down. So again, if you are not able to lie down right now, come back to this at a later time. But begin by lying down and maybe closing your eyes. If you have something to cover your eyes, it's helpful to help you really go in, go deeper. Just begin by taking a deep breath in through your nose. Inhale, nose. Exhale through your mouth. Let it go. Inhale again through your nose. Fill your body up. Exhale, release any tension in your body. And with this, next inhale, see if you can squeeze your whole body. Squeeze your toes, your legs, your hands, your fists, your belly, your chest, your face. Squeeze everything. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. Sip in a little bit more air. And exhale, let it go. And as you begin to settle into your body, can you bring to mind an intention for the next few moments? Maybe it's something you're calling in, something you're releasing. Just bring your intention to mind. Move through your life each moment with intention. And now let it go. With this next breath in, can you gently begin to scan your body? Noticing how the breath, when it starts at the crown of your head, begins to soften on the exhale, moving down your brow, your jaw, your neck and shoulders. Softening your chest, softening the back of your spine all the way down your body, your belly, your hips. Each breath cleansing your body, exhaling into softness.

SPEAKER_05 3:40

Through your legs, your knees, your calves.

SPEAKER_04 3:48

Let your calves soften. They are the second heart of your body, pumping your blood back up to your heart. And so pay special attention, allowing them to just release and into your feet. And take a moment here in a softened body to acknowledge your presence right here. Right now, with nowhere else to be, and nothing else to do. Allow yourself this moment.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

And let's begin.

SPEAKER_04 4:46

Okay, open mouth air in through your mouth and through the belly, up into your chest. Exhale, let it go. Right back to it. Belly, chest, exhale. Good. Really start to move your breath. Belly, chest, exhale. First few breaths for the most channeling as we step into our bummy as we begin to blam our brain. But we always have a choice. We have a choice to stay stuck. Or a choice to create space. And allow what once to move to move. So deepen your breath here. Deepen your breath. Can you pick up the pace a tiny bit while you expand the depth? Belly, hard expand. Exhale. Make the choice here. Feel the power in your ability to tooth. Toot yes to you. Yes to the momentum of your body. Yes to the whole number of the command to you. Take a deeper in your belly. To see what's meant for you. Go ahead, deep in your breath here. This is where you start to really engage with your energy. You might feel tingling in your body as it starts to open up. Work with it. Let it might be where it wants to go. Find somewhere in your body where your breath hasn't come. Somewhere that's left. Somewhere that's resisting. Your moment where it's when it might be in your upper end, and then it might be between your upper limb. In your left hand. And then as it remains contained in our body, we experience the suffering of being half of who we are, a fraction of who we're meant to be. So in this last active breathstrom, can you let it move? Can you let it come out? Can you let whoever you are, even if it's just for a moment, be completely true? We become so afraid of what that means, what we'll have to do, what you'll have to be. Let your life come forward. Let your life exist. Let yourself exist. Find somewhere deep in yourself right now that you love yourself. Find something that you love. Even if it is a tiny bit, even if it is that you look up. Love yourself. Good. Take a big breath in through your mouth and hold it at the top. Exhale, let it go. Take another deep inhale through your mouth. Hold it at the top. Exhale, let it go. Last one in through the mouth, all the way up to the crown of your head. And hold. And exhale all the way down. Take your breath to your nose. Of receiving. Where you've created space.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

Allow your intention to flow in.

SPEAKER_04 14:48

Allow it to be a reminder right here of what you are capable of.

SPEAKER_03 15:11

Notice your body surrounded by a beautiful golden light.

SPEAKER_04 15:20

One of peace. One of beauty. One of infinite possibility.

SPEAKER_03 15:46

Allow the light to begin to pour in through the center of your heart.

SPEAKER_04 15:58

Your heart, the portal to your entire body. Your heart from where all of your life expands. Notice that it begins to overflow from your heart. The soft, warm, beautiful golden light moving through your whole body.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

Every cell, every muscle, every organ, every bone, every tissue, every part of your body filling with this beautiful light.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

Until you begin to merge with the light.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

Allow yourself a final moment to receive to be present in your body. To be present with this beautiful energy, this beautiful light.

SPEAKER_05 22:57

Gently bring your awareness back to your body. Back to your feet, your toes. To your calves, your knees, your legs, and hips.

SPEAKER_04 23:27

Notice that the light begins to move into a cord in the center of your being. As it roots you down into the earth below. As it moves up through your belly and into your heart.

SPEAKER_05 23:58

Up through your throat, your jaw. And out through the crown of your head. Feel yourself grounded in your body. Gently begin to wake your body up. Maybe you bring small movements into your hands or your feet. Maybe you begin to deepen your breath.

SPEAKER_04 24:55

And when you're ready, you can take the eye mask off. Notice that it's a bit brighter than before. Take a deep breath. And exhale.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Welcome back.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Very good. Good.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

You're welcome. If anything came up, I'm happy to chat about it. I'm also happy to be in the moment for a minute.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

For me, it's good for the processing. Um I thought that the big shift would be the breathing part because of your words holding the focus there. Hold it, hold it. Um, and I thought to myself, well, this is great. Yeah, I'm gonna breathe a little more. And um, and then it shifted. You went into the intention, and my intention was to transcend the the uh attachments of grief that I have now. Grief itself, not so much a problem, but the um the punishment part of it, the the like the dread. So, and I really didn't think I was like, well, this really won't do that, but you know, that'll be my intention. Um, and I can breathe through it, might be lovely. And then yes, as the bulls came in and the light, that was where I was actually surprised, and um it was more being very aware that death is the the most natural process on this planet, it's unnatural to hold on and to believe that when there is a disease system or an aged system, whether it's a flower or it's a family, um the the need to hold on to maybe I didn't take care of the flower right, maybe I watered it too much, maybe I did this, maybe I should have raised my kids differently, maybe I should, you know, the and the the clinging instead, and it said it was just very clear, it was there's a whole process in place, and the sunrise is a brilliant, beautiful experience when after a sunset and a night.

SPEAKER_04 28:24

Yeah, well, I mean, death is the only thing guaranteed.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

Sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:30

I mean, we you can't even guarantee birth, but you can guarantee death in the physical form, but then also in I mean, every aspect of our life, you know, and we've we have collected this fear on it. But I you're right about the sunset. I also think about like I have this hydrangea bush that chooses whether or not to bloom every year. And a lot of years it won't, like it doesn't bloom, and then one year you get this beautiful blue flowering from it because that's when it's right. You know, and like we've thought a lot of times, oh, should we dig it up? Should we move it? It's not doing it here, it was doing it somewhere else. Right. Um but you know, we I think we're so I don't know, you know, I sit with grief and talk about that a lot. Like we're so accustomed to try to push it away, but when you push it away, you push everything else away too. So when you say transcend it, what do you what does that mean to you transcend it?

SPEAKER_00 29:46

I wanted to transcend the punishing nature of it that I hold. Like something's ending, so I did something wrong. I was participating in something that hurt somebody and or whatever. I mean, these whatever stories come up.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

Um, because grief itself is a is necessary, so it wasn't that part, it was more the how I was holding experiencing.

SPEAKER_04 30:13

How do you practice endings at all?

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Yeah, it's really funny. I practice beginnings and every morning meditation, sit outside, do my breath, I talk to the trees and my all and I don't, and at night I sleep really well, but no, there's no practice in place.

SPEAKER_04 30:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

So there you go.

SPEAKER_04 30:38

So I wonder, I mean, I I've done that before with particularly with healthcare um clinicians, in that like they have a hard time coming home after a shift at the hospital and leaving the hospital and whatever it is they see there. And so we'll do like these. This is more of a transition type thing, but like, how can you be purposeful around letting something close? Which is the same as an ending, yeah. And then you know, it doesn't mean you don't go back to it. Like sometimes we do the same beginning and ending all the time, and one day the ending will come, and like maybe you're actually okay with it being an ending, you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

But if we don't practice it, and that speaks to the intentionality with energy, which I'm learning all around. So thank you for pointing to a blind spot. That's what I'm saying. That's what it is. I'm like, oh, if I'd known, I would have known, but um yeah, really I didn't see that.

SPEAKER_04 31:46

So let's think what could we do as an ending practice? I mean, I think a couple things. One, that's why, like in some meditations, like transcendental, they tell you twice a day, but they don't necessarily specify end of day, but really closing down your day in that way, and then I don't know, it's like practice something silly, even. Oh, I'm done, I'm done my lunch. Yeah, make it like not uh it doesn't have to be something like profound and heavy, it's just a practice, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Just to acknowledge it's over, it's done, it's done. Wow, thank you. Yeah, very good. Yeah, thank you for all the silliness. Of course, it was a pleasure. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

Yeah, all right, we'll see you soon.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Now's day.

SPEAKER_04 32:47

All right, that's it on session two. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you take with you some of the endings that maybe you can practice. Um, you know, I read in a book once number rule number six is don't take yourself so seriously. And that's the same with all of this growth, all of this practice. In do something small. Do something that seems silly and practice that ending. You know, it can be just getting out of your car when you get home. I've ended my drive. Maybe I need to turn on a fun song that I love to end it, to end it on a high note, on high energy. Maybe it is, you know, giving yourself one deep breath before you go to bed. Maybe it is a piece of chocolate after dinner to end your evening. Whatever it is, enjoy it. Endings and beginnings are part of our life and matter deeply to what we're meant to give in this world. So I hope you have a great day. Until the next time, I'll see you in the session.